Chapter 3 On Finding Your Own Narnias

 

In the greater scheme of things, human evolution has taught us that one's reasoning and thought process is and should be linear, if not causal, and often mechanic. It's not a hodgepodge of emotions and ideas which if left unchecked reeks havoc to one's psyche. I was once chosen to be part of a newsletter publication from a previous job. In it, I am to write on a specific topic assigned. The topic could be something from pop culture or current events that shape our locale in Manila. There I was 20 something, dumb and angsty. I found myself writing as my normal eccentric self, injecting my personal opinion on a subject without considering my target audience. The result was an editing nightmare. I should have not submitted a piece of work that will be slaughtered to mere nothing anyway. If thought processes were linear, I found myself compromised, forced to think in a certain way to box myself in a writing style akin to an Ivy leaguer who spent years writing for the university paper. I am no Jessica Zafra, but I have my style. You may walk away thinking, what the hell did I read but you certainly walk away invigorated and inspired to think on your own, inspired to honor your individuality.

In this day and age where being different is celebrated, I cringe at the thought of ever being celebrated for my inadequacies and lack of social skills. If I were to be transported back to my old old life, I will laugh at myself. I thank my bullies, past, present, and future for reminding me that I am different but I most certainly would not want to celebrate a clinical neurosis! 

For my lack of social graces, I bask in anonymity and freedom of thought inside my head, hiding in the shadows and yet smiling at just the thought of my mind being allowed to run around in awry. My synapses are firing and I'm left with a different kind of satisfaction to figure out a maze that no one dared discover. I reach Narnias after Narnias, all because I think differently.

Through the years I developed into a pesky human being who won't stop giving in to the itch to know the absolute truth. But alas there are no absolutes. Books were my first drug of choice, it evolved into AM radio shows, and now podcasts, Netflix and Youtube. Education has a means to no end courtesy of the web. The hungry child frolics through the age of info wars, deception, malaise, SEO, and algorithms. I admit most of the stuff I dabbled into was a total sham, pushed down my throat for the love of commerce and clickbait. I cringe at the very thought of it.

My search leads me to something primitive, something I failed to look into, something I neglected for a long time waiting in the corner to be tapped. It's none other than my trusty Bible...